Die Empty

I’ve heard it said that the richest place in the world is the cemetery. There among the headstones, in a sea of names, there are stories of lives lived well and full – dreams fulfilled and obstacles overcome. But in that same place there are an untold number of other stories; cures for illnesses that were never discovered, books never written, love never pursued, dreams never chased, lives cut short by pain, trial and bad decisions. It’s a sad thing to consider, dying without ever having really lived, and I’ve often had cold sweat moments when I’ve imagined myself among them, at the end of my life sitting somewhere with one clear question on my lips.

“What If?”

What if I had tried? What if I had given myself a chance? What if I’d ignored the haters, the naysayers and the Negative Nancy’s (who seem magnetically drawn to dreamers might I add)? What if I’d chased down every dream in my heart? What if I’d been crazy enough to believe they could come true?

Regret is a horrible thing. I don’t want to live with it now, and I certainly don’t want to spend my last minutes buried in it. But I’m going to tell you a secret. Lean close…make sure no one’s eavesdropping. Ready? Here it is.

We don’t have to.

We don’t have to live unfulfilled then die with regret. We don’t have to let the ‘what if’s’ drive us crazy or the naysayers weigh us down. There is an alternative. But, I warn you, it’s not easy. Because the truth is that as painful as regret is, in the long run it’s pretty easy to get there. The road to regret is paved with good intentions and a lack of action. You don’t have to DO anything to arrive at regret. In fact, that’s the best way to get there…by doing nothing. Living a fulfilled life, on the other hand, requires some boot strap pulling, some in the face of fear flying, and lots of raw, unadulterated courage.

Live Full. Die Empty.

It’s something my dad has always said and I’ve adopted it as a motto of sorts. The first time he said it I played the words over in my head, dissected them, concentrated way too hard on them and eventually ended up with this definition. Die Empty means…Die Empty. I know…I am profound.

But really it is simple. We were all placed on this earth with a wealth of riches inside. Everyone’s stockpile is different, but everyone has one; something that makes you special, something that makes you different. Some purpose you were put on this earth for that is unique to you, that will make both you and the world around you a better place when it’s pursued. Some people heal sick bodies; some people have the sort of athletic prowess that allows us to forget our problems for a few hours when we watch them. Some people invent things that make life easier, some people remind us that life isn’t easy for everyone and push us to do something about that. There are a million ways we are all valuable; a million dreams that lay inside our hearts just waiting for us to draw them out into our lives.  But there aren’t a lot of people willing to take the plunge and dive head first into living…really living, without hiding behind excuses.

I know this is true, because I was once part of the League of Extraordinarily Regretful People (sounds fancy but really it’s not…we let everybody in…getting out is the hard part). I had a million dreams and just as many reasons for not pursuing them. I was too young, or too old. I was too fat, not attractive enough, not educated enough, I didn’t know the right people, I didn’t have time, I didn’t have money…and the list goes on. I’m sure you have a list like this: all the reasons why you can’t do that thing you’re just dying to do.  All the reasons it won’t work, can’t work. All the fears of what might happen if you fail; or what might happen if you succeed.

It’s scary isn’t it? Standing on the precipice, looking into the future, throwing caution to the wind and making the decision to run out into life full tilt, arms akimbo, screaming at the heavens ‘Bring it on!’.

Scary, yes…and maybe a little crazy.

But it’s the only way. It’s like a swimming pool. You can spend your life dipping in your toe, waiting for the water to be warm enough. Or you can close your eyes, taking a running start and cannonball into your future. It might be cold at first; but we’ll adjust.

So let’s do it. Take my hand (it’s shaking I know…I’m a little scared still), and I’ll take yours.  Now close your eyes and get a picture in your head. See yourself doing it…whatever it is you dream. I know it looks hard, maybe even impossible. That’s why we have each other…you’re not in it alone. You’re surrounded by an army of dreamers…the ones beside you, the ones who came before you, and even the ones behind you – waiting to see if you’re brave enough to take the leap.

Are you ready? Me too. Let’s do it!